Monday, August 24, 2009

KFC's New 'Double Down' Chicken Sandwich

Have you heard of it yet? This masterpiece consists of two chicken fillets sandwiching Swiss and pepperjack cheeses, bacon and the 'Colonel's' sauce. I didn't mention a bun because there is no bun. A Canadian newspaper estimates that it weighs in at 1 228 calories, but KFC has the caloric count at "just under 600". The final nutritional data is not in yet.
It is currently being tested in Omaha, Neb. and Providence, R.I.
It is actually called the KFC Double Down Burger and it looks incredible. I am such a chicken fan and deep-fried fillets (the healthiest cut) are my favorite. I am contemplating driving 5 hours to get one but, I will probably just wait until they are sold in my city (or nearby). To those out there who feel it is a bad idea to bring out such a product when America is so fat, let people eat what they want. I'll drink a glass of milk with mine, if it will shut you up.
And why is everyone complaining that the chicken is the bun? KFC is concerned about our collective health and decided to do away with the bread. Thanks, KFC.
And what about the guy/gal who eats a 3-piece meal? Or has a bucket for dinner with the family and eats 4 pieces, fries, gravy, coleslaw, pop and a piece of cake?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Some rhetorical questions.

What would the world be like if we burped out of our assholes and farted out of our mouths?

Do you have to be married to be a 'sex addict'? It sure looks that way.

Do you know what I learned from watching Tiger Woods' press conference yesterday? He should lose some weight and he should always wear a baseball cap to cover up that fucked up head and receding hairline. His forehead is gaining on Rihanna's and Mark McGwire's.

Does every girl in America have a naked picture of themselves on the internet? Not that they planned it that way. Just ended up on the 'net and that'll bite 'em in the ass one day.

Why do 'emo' girls (whatever that is?) feel the need to fuck their faces up when they are taking nude pictures of themselves (a lot of the time with girlfriends) in the mirror? And, do they not know the mirror is usually pretty dirty and the pictures have a pretty good chance of winding up on the internet? (Amazing how a whole group of impressionable, dumb girls scrunch their lips up because it is a trend. They are like sheep. Yeah, we followed trends as kids, just not ones that made us look stupid.)

Did you know that my cock thinks it is black?

Don't you think the people on 'Teen Mom' eat out a lot? And, I don't think they have a lot of money. I can't remember if they ate out a lot on '16 and Pregnant'.

Do you think Mark McGwire has a bigger forehead than Rihanna?

Do you think Stephen Hawking is faking it? I think he just comes across as real smart because he looks so fucked up. I little coherence goes a long way when you're a vegetable (or look like one).

Do you think Nike would have been as successful if they used the slogan "Go on, give it a try." instead of "Just Do It."?

Why do I have to wash my hands after I take a piss, but a chick will go down on me without hesitation or so much as a drop of Purell?

Is 40 really the new 20? 'Cause I thought 30 was the new 20 and 40 was the new 30. (I am really good at math.) What about anal? Is anal the new vaginal? Are guns the new knives? Are guns the new fists? Who started this whole 40-30-20 shit anyhow? I don't care, but when I fuck a 20 year-old, she can be 40, 30 or really 20. I am just horny. Pass it on.

Is it just me or is Rihanna starting to look like a rooster? A bit of advice to her: cover that billboard you call a forehead.

Why do they say "All men are created equal", when this is not true? I don't care what Thomas Jefferson says.
All men are not created equal, but all men should be treated equal.

When was the last time you heard someone say, "Shake 'em baby, you won't break 'em."? Yeah, it's been a long time. Ladies, for our (men's) sake, shake 'em once in a while.

Did you know that Subway has prepaid sub cards? And they have had them for about 3 years now. (I just found out.) The only person that I can think of who eats enough Subway sandwiches to warrant a prepaid, reloadable sub card is Jared Fogle.

How many more cell phones are the manufacturers going to make and how many more are the sheep going to buy?

What's with Katy Perry? I don't know what she did, but she is blessed with some absolutely unattractive physical features. No hair-do can fix that face.

Have you gone into a McDonald's lately? How things have changed. I can't even find a goddamn hamburger on the menu.

Why the (somewhat) recent use of the term 'binge drinking'? I have always known it simply as 'drinking' (without the apostrophes).

Why did the term 'Freshman 15' (referring to weight gain in your first year of college/university) not exist when I went to post-secondary school?

Does anyone ever eat a bologna sandwich on whole wheat bread? And, if they did, would that be right?

Did you notice that shows the numbers for the Dow, NASDAQ and S & P, while shows the numbers for the S&P/TSX (not to be confused with the S&P on, the Dow Jones and the Canadian dollar vs. the U.S. dollar? That's not fair to the Canadians, but, fuck 'em for being insignificant.

Do any guys out there ever suffer from 'mature' ejaculation? And, if they do, what is it?

Did you know that my girfriend has not shaved her pussy in, like, 4 years? That's because I do it. You should try it.

Did Alecia Moore make a good decision? I don't think so. I would have went with 'Taco' instead of 'Pink', had I chosen a career in music. Then again, I am just craving Mexican right now.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Octomom. If they had a baby.

If Fiona Apple and Alanis Morissette had a baby, they'd end up with Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez.