Thursday, November 19, 2009

'Stargazing' Is No Longer A Credit Course At Dickinson State University.

I suppose you heard about the three young ladies (softball players) who drowned while out for a nighttime stargazing ride in their Jeep. They were driving through fields and, went through some tall grass and bushes that hid a pond.
Fuckin' Women Drivers.
They couldn't hit a tree? They couldn't hit a hydro pole? They couldn't hit another person?
No, they hit a goddamn pond.
I can just see them bitching at each other, "Why the fuck did you drive into a fucking pond?", as they were sinking; frantically calling friends instead of 911.
Imagine what the divers saw when they looked through the windows to see what was inside the sunken vehicle. Three chicks, eyes popping out of their heads with mouths wide open. Kinda like those blow-up fuck dolls of yesteryear.
Are you telling me these guys didn't have a baseball bat somewhere in that Jeep that they could have used to break a window and escape?
By the way, 'Stargazing' is no longer a credit course at Dickinson State University.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Wrong Place, Right Time...

One day last week, I was in the wrong place at the right time. I stumbled upon a big bag of weed, a loaded 9mm handgun and a dead guy laying in the alley.
A couple of days later, I was in the right place at the wrong time. We had meatloaf for dinner at my parents' place. I hate meatloaf.
I should have been there for lunch because my mother made grilled cheese sandwiches and I love grilled cheese sandwiches.