Annoyer of the Week.

It' s your choice.
Beyonce Knowles or Miley Cyrus.
I need your help because I can't decide.
Just send an email with your vote and I will tally them.
Results will be announced in exactly one week.
Use the following to help you vote:

Beyonce Knowles annoying bitch rant, I mean, song, 'Put a ring on it'.
Is this twat just trying to incite a riot between men and women? Goddamn, bitch, shut up. Imagine this filthy rich cunt antagonizing women just to sell a record.

Miley Cyrus' fake emotional outburst at the (100% commercial) Nickelodeon's Kids' Choice Awards. To use Miley-speak, 'Gag me with a spoon'. Who puts her up to this? Just another manipulated teen star trying to manipulate her fans.
I see alcohol, drugs and (probably) porn in her future. Does her Dad not have any control over her? What other normal 16, 17 year-old acts like this? None. Therefore, not normal. Absolutely not grounded. I can't wait for the porno.

Reminds of that knucklehead Ashlee Simpson. You remember her, the one with the buggered-up nose. Got a nose job because she looked the opposite of her sister - not-hot.
I remember her (happily, gladly, idiotically) stating she would go into a fast-food restaurant and order, like, everything and take a bite of each because she couldn't decide what to get. OMG, who raised this wench? Oh, I forgot, Joe Simpson - the one who commented on his older daughter's tits and said it was hard to hold those babies in.
I would not hit a woman, but it would be nice to bitchslap each of them.

Stranded on a desert island - My 3 albums.

Black Sabbath - Paranoid
The The - Soul Mining
The Cult - Love
Van Halen - Diver Down

Presidential Eats.

I just read about Barack Obama's favourite foods when he is in Hawaii. Good to know he likes burgers, sno-cones and plate lunches. F'in fascinating, isn't it?
The article made it sound like the Hawaiians invented putting food on a plate.
Gee whiz, who woulda thunk to put a protein (chicken or beef), a carb (rice or potatoes) and a third item on a plate, then have someone eat it? WTF? The rest of the world calls it lunch, Barry. You and the people of Hawaii should, too.
I had steak today, served on a plate with a baked potato and sauteed mushrooms. It was 6:30 p.m., so I called it dinner, not a plate dinner.

Anyhow, just some of the ridiculous stuff we have to put up with when talking about the new president. Probably because he is half-black. (Funny, no one mentions the white woman who raised him, just the neglectful, absentee father who saw his son only once from 1964 until his death in 1982 - in 1971, when he was 10. It was a shotgun wedding, too.)

And another thing, Michelle Obama commented that -
"You can't really understand Barack until you understand Hawaii."

Well, I thought it would be fun to play with that quote (mainly because it is so utterly ridiculous - another WTF?).

"You can't really understand Barack until"-

1. you suck his dick.
2. you shave your ass with a cheese grater and squat in a bowl of gin.
3. you've had a 3some with him and McCain.
4. he gives you a 'King Kamehameha' first thing in the morning.
5. you have been married to him since October 3, 1992.
6. you enjoy plate jobs as much as you enjoy plate lunches.
7. - 10. I can't think of anymore right now and I am tired.

Maybe she likes being beaten.

Rihanna is a large-foreheaded, beautifully-voiced, possibly gang-banging stupid twat. Judging by the welts, bruises, cuts and bleeding on her face, she was hit a number of times by CB.
I will not feel sorry for her after the next beating.
It's coming. This guy has problems. 19 and beating women?!
Studies, experience and history show guys like this don't change and this was only the first act of violence towards her - the first we know about.
We read about incidents such as this quiet often - celebrity, but mostly the general public.
Unfortunately, the article is usually about the death of a woman at the hands of her lover after staying with him despite previous episodes of domestic violence.

Chris Brown...Neanderthal?

Take a look at this guy. Neanderthal?...Cro-Magnon?
Check out the side view. That f'in forehead jutting out. Eyes a little bit sunken.
I'm not saying his caveman features had anything to do with the physical altercation with Rhianna, I'm just saying.

While I'm at it, what is with that forehead on Rihanna (and why doesn't anyone talk about it)?
You could screen a movie on that.
She need 10" bangs to cover it up.
She looks like a descendant of Tweety Bird.

Don't Call Your Child 'Kid'.

A while back, I was speaking with a friend about making plans to hook up.
He said he couldn't because, as he put it, "I gotta go pick up my kid".
That sounds f'in awful.
Believe it or not, your children deserve your respect.
When referring to them, use their name, say 'my girl' or 'my little girl', or use the word 'daughter'. Use the respective terms for your boy.
When you say 'kid', it sounds like you don't love them (at the very least, something along those lines) and they are a burden to you.

Stop it.

What I Hate About Tony Soprano and a few other (non-Soprano) things.

I love 'The Sopranos', but I f'ing hate it when Tony eats an ice cream sundae - and we have all seen him eat a few. He stirs and chops, and stirs and chops some more, before finally putting the loaded spoon in his mouth. BRB. I just looked up idiosyncrasy on the internet and I think his playing with the ice cream is an idiosyncrasy that he possesses and my dislike of him f'ing with his dessert too much is my idiosyncrasy. Always looks like a good sundae, though.

Another think I hate (an idiosyncrasy?) is when people cut up their spaghetti (or any long-noodled pasta) before they start eating. That is a put-off. You don't need to use a spoon (I don't), just twirl the pasta on your fork and shove it in your mouth. Don't get fork and knife in hand, and proceed to chop up the noodles before shovelling them in your mouth with your fork. There shouldn't be a knife at your place setting for pasta anyhow...well, maybe lasagna.

One last thing...learn how to hold/use a fork and knife properly. Incorrect cutlery usage is another huge put-off for me. To try and put the proper way to hold/use cutlery into words would be impossible; you need the visual. But, I will tell you this. Don't ever hold your fork (when cutting something, like a steak) like a person would hold a knife when they are going to stab someone - like in the movie 'Psycho'. It's not proper and makes an individual look like they weren't raised right.